Hunting and/or Fishing Kit

[krafteekaren]

Hunting and/or Fishing Kit

…Fishing lures or hooks,
…Snacks your Hunter/Fisherman likes,
…A book he/she would like,
…Hand warmers (the kind you press or pop and it turns warm) (Just go to a sporting store and look for small hunting & fishing stuff!)
…Trail Mix-To eat along the way or to mark your trail.
…Caramel-To help you out of sticky situations.
…Tissue-To dry your tears when the Big One gets away.
…Toothpick-To help you pick the best shot.
…Compass-So you won´t loose your way
…Dog Biscuit-We will be doggone happy when you get the Big One
…Balloon-To remind you not to blow up at other Hunters.
…Peppermint Patty-To help you keep your cool when you see the Big One.
…Safety Pin-To remind you to be safe.
…Sand Paper-To smooth out any rough trails.
…Starburst-To give you energy for the chase; To give you a burst of energy for those last miles of tracking the deer.
…Rubber Ball-In case you fall out of the tree, you can bounce back.
… Squirrel or Rabbit Bait - Bag of mixed nuts

#2 –
HUNTER'S SURVIVAL KIT

* Dog Biscuits - For your loyal companion.
* Lifesavers - In case you fall into the water.
* Matches - To light your fire.
* Compass - To help find your way.
* Tylenol - In case you get Buck Fever.
* Newspaper - Emergency T.P.
* Dear Repellent - "Not now dear, I’m going hunting."
* Cotton Balls - To cushion the rough terrain.
* Starburst - For an extra burst of energy.
* Alka Seltzer - After the campfire food.
* Chocolate Covered Raisins (Animal Poop) - For those tell-tell signs.
* $1.00 - So you can still say you brought home a buck.
* Bandage - In case you need some TLC.
* Hershey's Kiss - To attract a "dear".
* Sponge - in case it rains.

---submitted by Pookie

#3 - HUNTER'S SURVIVAL KIT

Enclosed is everything you need for your survival while hunting the BIG ONE!

* Bellybutton lint - use as fire starter (please feel free to substitute your own).
* Two sticks - briskly rub together.
* Matches - in case first method failed. CAUTION: Do not strike matches near bellybutton vicinity.
* Forked stick - use with elastic from drawers for a sling shot to roast the squirrel who died from laughing watching you collect bellybutton lint and rubbing two sticks together. Also may be used as a rifle prop to steady your gun while you're violently shaking from the cold.
* Gather leaves, throw in garbage bag and hop up and down for impromptu sleeping bag.
* Or, gather two ducks, throw in garbage bag and gently hop if you prefer a down-filled sleeping bag.
* Pack of gum to repair sleeping bag if you jumped too much. Should be chewed. Gum also may be used to keep trigger finger from shaking while sitting in the cold for six hours.
* A rock to heat in the fire (see above) and place in your sleeping bag. The smell of plastic burning indicates you've overcooked the rock and need to exit your sleeping bag post haste.
* Two toothpicks to hold your eyes open after sitting in the blind for six hours.
* Bark with moss remembering that moss always grows on the North side of tree.
* Compass, in case you don't remember which way is North
* Map, in case the compass doesn't work.
* Cell phone in case you can't read the map.
* Tin Can and String - for when the phone system fails. Needs more than one person to use.
* Supply of doctor's excuses stating you won't be at work on__________ (insert date) due to Buck Fever.
* Some dough in case you don't get a one or a buck in case you don't get one of those either.
* Pizza gift certificate in case venison won't be appearing on the dinner menu.
* Labels to attach to your deer stating "Objects are larger than they appear."

---submitted by Pookie

[crafterwannabe]

Re: ISO gag gifts for the deer hunter other than deer poop -- Tamara, 16:04:38 11/15/08 Sat [1]

HUNTER'S SURVIVAL KIT

Jerky, Trail mix, Chap stix, socks, bug repellant, map of the area to be hunted etc..... ADD..2 one dollar bills so that "THE MIGHTY HUNTER"can say he brought home TWO BUCKS... ADD..2 aspirin...incase he get's "BUCK FEVER"...... Add a frilly Garter...label it DEAR LURE...to lure my BUCK back home. A small bottle labeled "DEAR REPELLENT'and "Not now Dear, I'm going HUNTING"