Over the Hill Voo Doo Doll

(Ailment List as a Collection © 1999 Shirley Thomas CraftSayings.com
First appeared in 01/99 Newsletter)

Voodoo Doll FrontVoodoo Doll Back

We're all another year older but now we can do something about it!!   Just stick a pin in the ailment and see what happens.  Actually, I confess, it didn't work for me.  I'm still creaking!  But they are cute and a lot of fun.

  • Make your own doll or purchase one.  I happened to already have a muslin bunny.

  • Draw the face on with fine-tip Sharpies.

  • Write on the ailments.  As you will notice, some ailments are specific to the ladies and some to the gentlemen, so use appropriately.  Most are for both.  Try to place in appropriate spots where possible.

  • Glue a tuft of Spanish moss to top of head for "gray hair".  Add a bow for the lady and a felt hat for the man.

  • Draw a heart. Stick a few bead head pins in the heart.

Here is my list of ailments.  Let me know if you have more to add.

Ailments:  Oh what to do!   I've got age spots, arthritis, B.O., back ache, balding, bi-focals, bloating, bowel problems, cellulite, charlie horse, constipation, crankiness, crow's feet, dentures, double chin, double vision, flab, flabby arms, flabby muscles, flabby thighs, foot in mouth, forgetfulness, gas, gout, gray hair, grumpiness, hallucinations, hang nails, hard hearing, head ache, heart burn, hemorrhoids, hernia, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hot flashes, hypertension, incompetence, incontinence, ingrown toenails, impotence, jumpy legs, laugh lines, leaky bladder, liver spots, menopause, mental block, more cellulite, near-sightedness, old timer's disease, old war injury, pot belly, prostate problems, receding hairline, saggy breasts, sagging buttocks, scaly skin, selective hearing, senility, slipped disc, smoker's cough, sore feet, spare tire (Dunlap), spring fever, stiff joints, stiff neck, stubbornness, swollen ankles, tennis elbow, toe fungus, trick knee, varicose veins, wandering mind, warts, weight gain, winter blues and wrinkles!   I really need an Over the Hill Voodoo Doll!

Print poem 6-up.