Shopping Sayings
Compiled & many originals by This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Collection © 1972 - Present by Shirley Thomas @

Use individually but please do not reprint entire collection or significant portion without copyright notice intact.  Thanks and I hope you will enjoy!

  1. $100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000 - by which time it will be worth nothing.  Might as well spend it now!
  2. A bargain is something you will never be able to use at a price you were unable to resist.

  3. A budget is a methodical way of going broke.
  4. A friend is a daughter, who grows up to be your shopping companion.
  5. A husband shopping with his wife is a wait watcher.

  6. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single cash advance.
  7. A man once lost his credit card to a thief but decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  8. A penny saved is a penny you can spend on crafts. ( sub fishing, golf clubs, chocolate, etc.)

  9. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is who can find such a man.
  10. A woman's place is in the mall.
  11. All you really need in life is love and a few major credit cards.
  12. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
  13. Anything is possible with love and a major credit card.

  14. As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does.
  15. Baby’s First Words! Mama - Dada – Visa

  16. Barbie is the name.  Shopping is the game.

  17. Barogue:  Out of monet.
  18. Beautiful to look at and lovely to hold, but if you break it consider it sold!

  19. Better to eat vegetables and fear no creditors, than eat duck and hide from them. -- The Talmud
  20. Blessed are the coupon clippers, for they shall be redeemed.
  21. Born free.  Now I'm expensive.

  22. Born to be free, or at least until the money runs out.
  23. Born to Garage Sale!
  24. Born to shop, forced to work to support it.

  25. Born to shop, not mop.
  26. Born to yard sale!

  27. Browsers Welcome.  Buyers Adored!
  28. But Honey, we can afford it!  I just sold your truck!  (computer, fishing gear, golf clubs, etc.)
  29. Collector of useless, worthless, can't-find-a-place-for, don't-need-it, bargain finds and proud of it!
  30. Coupon clipping saves some people right into the poorhouse.

  31. Crazy shopper on the loose!

  32. Credit giveth and the repo guy taketh away!
  33. Deck the halls, then off to the malls.

  34. Designated shopper!
  35. Direction in my life means deciding which road to take to the mall.

  36. Don't hold back… Charge!
  37. Why do we spend money we haven't earned to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like?
  38.  Garage Sale Goddess

  39.  Garage Sale Junkie

  40. Getting money is like digging with a needle. Spending it is like water soaking into sand. -- Japanese Proverb

  41. Girls just want to have funds!
  42. Give me the luxuries in life....I can live without the necessities!
  43. Gone antiquing.  Will return some day.

  44. Gone yard saling.  May the winds blow me in the right direction.

  45. Home is where you keep your stuff while you're out buying more stuff.
  46. I am woman, see me shop!

  47. I belong to Mallaholic Anonymous, but I shopped around for the best group.
  48. I breathe, therefore I shop.

  49. I can't go home.  I still have money.
  50. I have enough money to last forever or until I need to buy something.
  51. I like my money right where I can see it... hanging in my closet.

  52. I like shopping a la cart.
  53. I need a new man.  I broke my last one.

  54. I need a richer husband or cheaper tastes.
  55. I want it all and I want it delivered!

  56. If deficit spending is good enough for the government, it's good enough for me.
  57. When men go shopping, they call it market research.

  58. If you can't shop with the big dogs, stay out of the malls.
  59. If you need a penny, take one.  If you need two pennies, take two.  If you need three pennies, get a job.
  60. I'm a luxury few can afford.

  61. I'm a Mallaholic.
  62. I'm living life to the credit limit.

  63. I'm sick of housework, dishes and mopping. I'm leaving it for you. . . I'm going shopping!   shirleyt
  64. I'm suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. I go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.

  65. In God we Trust...All others pay cash.

  66. It was time to go shopping and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to get something perfect and as special as you! As I sat there in a panic the answer came in a flash, along with warm loving thoughts just give you cold hard cash! -- Wish I knew the author!
  67. Just one shopping day left until tomorrow!
  68. Lean, mean shopping machine!

  69. Many people are like the letter B... in deBt for no reason at all!
  70. Money is the stuff you use when all of your credit cards are maxxed-out.
  71. Money isn't everything. There's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

  72. Most women shop all their lives and still have nothing to wear.        
  73. My credit line is my life line.

  74. My heart belongs to Daddy. . . and so do my credit cards!
  75. My husband says if I go near the mall again he's leaving.  I'll miss that man!
  76. My husband says if I go to one more yard sale, he's going to leave.  I sure am going to miss him!

  77. My idea of a nature walk is crossing the parking lot to the mall.
  78. My tastes are simple.  I only like the best.
  79. My wife says if deficit spending works for the government, it works for her.

  80. My yearnings exceed my earnings.
  81. Never spend your money before you have it. -- Thomas Jefferson   Easy for him to say.  They didn't have Visa back then!
  82. Murphy’s Shopping Law:  No matter how long you’ve shopped for an item or how low the price, buy it and it will go on sale the next day.

  83. On Cupid, On Donder, On Blitzen, On VISA!
  84. Overdrawn?  But I still have checks left!

  85. Personal checks require a $50 deposit and have a $20 limit.
  86. PMS Symptoms:  Blistered feet, broke and frazzled.  (aka Perpetual Mall Shopping)

  87. Shop like a bull.  Charge everything.
  88. Shop 'til you drop and spend to the end!

  89. Shoplifters get a free ride… in a police car!
  90. Shopping charges me up.
  91. Shopping Fact:  The other line always moves faster.

  92. Shopping forever.  Housework whenever.
  93. Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase. -- Erma Bombeck

  94. Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.
  95. Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.

  96. Shopping is my only extravagance.
  97. Shopping isn't just my life.  It's bigger than that!

  98. Shopping:  The fine art of getting things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like.
  99. So many garage sales... so little time!

  100. So many malls.  So little time.
  101. So many men, so few who can afford me.

  102. So many shops, so little time.
  103. So many yard sales.  So little time!

  104. So much stuff, so little money.
  105. Some folks say that money talks; and that I can't deny. I know, with utmost certainty, my money says "Good-bye"!
  106. Spring has sprung.  The grass is riz.  I'm off to find where the next yard sale is!

  107. Stop me before I shop again.
  108. The best thing to make you forget a passing fancy is something fancier. 

  109. The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. --  Erma Bombec
  110. There are three dimensions to credit cards. . . length, width and debt.

  111. There's no place like the mall.
  112. This little piggy went to market and maxxed out all her credit cards.

  113. To really get to know a woman, go shopping with her.
  114. To shop or not to shop?  That is a silly question.

  115. Veni, Vedi, Visa.  I came. I saw. I charged.
  116. Veni, Vedi, Visa.  I came. I saw. I shopped.

  117. WalMart is like a black hole. It sucks up women and you think they will never come out!
  118. We break...we cry.  You buy.
  119. What came first the woman or the department store?  (sub mall, jewelry store, etc.)
  120. When I die, bury me near the hardware store so my husband will visit.

  121. When I die, bury me near the mall so my wife will visit.
  122. When I die, bury me near Wal Mart so my wife will visit.

  123. When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on new shoes.
  124. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.  I think I'll go shopping!

  125. Who needs Santa.  I have Visa.
  126. Who needs Visa.  I have Santa!

  127. Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
  128. Your husband called and said to buy anything you want!

  129. Your wife called and said to buy any tools you like!

The Shopping Sayings Category is also included in the Money Sayings Category.