apart, fold and put favorites into a jar with mints. Decorate top of
jar and add poem. (Picture provided by Eileen. Thanks!)
- Never eat and run.
Haste makes waist.
- No diet is impossible,
hopeless maybe, but not impossible!
- Red meat is NOT bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
- Without flab you wouldn't have
- Belly building is more fun and
easier than body building!
- Dieting is no piece of cake!
- Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst, for they are sticking to their diet.
- It's too easy to "fudge" a
- He who stuffeth, puffeth.
- Try the garlic diet. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends
think you look thinner.
- God must love calories!
He made so many of them.
- Life is uncertain.
Eat dessert first.
- There is no love sincerer than
the love of food.
- When you eat something
fattening, cancel out the calories with a diet soda.
- No Frills Diet: No Salt.
No Fat. No Fun.
- A sure-to-work diet is the Eat
Only What You Hate Diet!
- Tomorrow’s another diet.
- When dieting, won't power is
better than willpower.
- To diet is to no thyself.
- Thoink thin! Thoink thin!
- Don't wail on the scale if you
cheat when you eat.
- Good tastes make big waists.
- No BODY is perfect.
- Life is full of ups and
- By the yard it may be hard,
but by the inch it's a cinch!
- Watch your weight.
Put it right out there where you can see it.
- You are what you eat.
Eat only rich foods.
- It is bad to suppress
laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
- It is natural to get heavier
as we get older, because we have retained a lot of information!
- Let your contour be your
- If you follow a diet too
closely, you will keep gaining on it!
- Scientists have discovered
that leaving clothes in dark closets over a long period of time causes
shrinkage. Women on diets already knew that!
- We are what we eat, so don't
be a garbage can!
- The older you get, the tougher
it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really
- Boost the economy.
Skip dieting and buy larger clothes,
Twinkies, Bon Bons, chocolate. . .
- The oldest diet is fasting.
- Broken cookies are
calorie-free because all of the calories have escaped.
- Dieting is for those who are
thick and tired of it.
- The first thing dieters lose
is a sense of humor.
- All successful dieters
exercise -- their self-control.
- Consumption is a treatable
- Overweight people are allergic
to food. They break out in fat.
- The best way to lose weight is
by skipping...snacks and desert.
- A waist is a terrible thing to
- You're not overweight.
- Those who indulge, bulge.
- He sees you when you're
- Carrot cake counts as a
serving of vegetables.
- Dieting is the penalty for
exceeding the feed limit.
- Denial is not a river in
- Inside is a thin person
struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces
of chocolate cake.
- Those who say "Nothing tastes
as good as thin feels" haven't tasted real chocolate!
- When you cheat on your diet,
you gain in the "end."
- The second day of a diet is
always easier. By the
second day you're off it!
- A moment on the lips, forever
on the hips.
- Forget the day, seize the
- A pinch of this, a dash of
that, a sprinkle or two, but leave out the fat.
- Dieting is mind over platter.
- A balanced diet:
Two cookies -- one in each hand.
- The #1 cause of people
slipping off diets . . food!
- When you're not getting enough
nutrition from a diet, add a second diet.
- Fat cells hang out together.
- If you can take a diet to some
length, it will change your width.
- Count your blessings with your
- There's nothing light about
- Brain cells die and are gone
forever, but fat cells live on forever and a day.
- Seconds count especially when
- Most dieters end up poor
- When you have only one meal a
day, make it breakfast, lunch and supper.
- Dieting is wishful shrinking.
- Calorie counters have the
figures to prove it.
- Food used for medicinal
purposes, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake,
do not have calories.
- Snacks are a food group.
You just have to group them before eating them!
- Pig out... on a good book!
- No eating between snacks!
- Eat something from each of the
Four Food Groups everyday:
Coffee, Ice Cream, Beer, Pizza
- Weight has a weigh of snacking
up on you.
- Doughnut holes don't have
- Don't take fat chances, only
- Studies show that most people
gain weight in certain places -- like bakeries and restaurants.
- Square meals make round
- To eat is human, to
over-indulge is divine.
- Having a perfect body isn't
difficult -- it's impossible.
- Eat something from each of the
Four Food Groups everyday:
Brownies, Chocolate Cake, Fudge, Diet Coke
- One should eat
to live, not live to eat!
- Ewe's not fat, ewe's fluffy.
- The seefood diet is the only
fail-proof diet. See food.
- Dieting is the cherry pits.
- If you gain five pounds, it's
water. If you lose five pounds, it's fat!
- Taste makes waist.
- A middle age spread is the
result of too many nights round the table.
- Another deep breath take, and
do without that chocolate cake!
- Milk chocolate is a dairy
- Eat a chocolate before each
meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you will eat
If God had meant us to be thin, He
would NOT have created chocolate.
Chocolate is an essential
- To have one’s diet defeated by
chocolate is a delectable defeat.
- A nice box of chocolate
provides your total daily intake of calories in one place.
Isn't that handy?
- The preservatives in chocolate
will make you look younger.
If not for chocolate, there would
be no need for control-top pantyhose and an entire garment industry
would be out of business.
- God sends no stress that
prayer and chocolate cannot handle!
- When the diet gets tough, the tough get
- I achieved my New Year's resolution.
I cleaned out the cupboards and fridge of all the junk food left from
Christmas. Gosh am I full!
- Most women can stay on the phone longer
than on a diet!
- Why does everything taste so good when
you're on a diet?
- I may be fat, but you're ugly... and I
- The west wasn't won on salad. --
ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990
- So much food, so little time.
- I'm not fat. According to the weight
charts, I'm just too short.
- Please, don't squeeze the love handles.
- When you go to the weight loss center:
Stop, Look & Lessen!
- Diets are for women who not only kept
their girlish figure but doubled it.
- Veni, vidi, vegi. I came, I saw,
I had salad.
- The perfect food would taste as good as
fresh buttered popcorn smells and of course would have no calories.
- It’s hard to keep your chin up when you
have more than one.
- Some people eat to live. I live
- Calories smell so good!
- Upscale: The results of cheating
on your diet.
- Some of my best friends are calories.
- I might not be so plump if I didn't
have to eat all the "evidence!"
- Middle Age Spread. . . Too many nights
round the table.
- I'm not afraid of heights. But I
- Bear with me, I'm dieting.
- I drive too fast to worry about
- Childhood is that wonderful time in
life when all you have to do to lose weight is take a bath!
- Rules for dieting - When you eat with
someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
- I'm watching my weight. I'm
putting it right out there where I can see it.
- Have you heard of the garlic diet?
You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you
- Everything good in life is either
illegal, immoral or fattening!
- Stuff & puff!
- At least I'm safer. Fat people
are harder to kidnap
- Dieting Zone. No food allowed
within 20 feet.
- I never met a cookie I didn't like.
- When women are depressed they either
eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. I think I'll raid
- When Mom's on a diet, everyone is one a
- I must be following my diet too
closely. I keep gaining on it.
- Amazing! You just hang something in
your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.
- Fatty four by four, don't touch that
never skimp on groceries. Our
family is well fed. That's why
our added poundage, is called
the high priced spread.
- We don't
skinny dip. We CHUNKY DUNK!
- By the time I'm thin, fat will be in.
- Nothing tastes better than thin feels.]
- If we are what we eat, I am fast, cheap
- It is time to diet when you are voted
"Most likely to blot out the sun!"
- Give us this day our daily bread, but
please hold the creamy butters. Just give me celery and carrot sticks,
although bacon and eggs are my druthers!
- I used to be a hippie. Now I am
- Blupper: When you have only one meal a
day, breakfast, lunch and supper.
- Ever long for the weigh we were?
- I'm not fat. I'm a nutritional
- Philosophers say the key to achieving
true inner peace is to always finish what you start, so be sure to
finish those bags of chips, gallons of ice cream, packages of cookies
and boxes of chocolates! You'll feel much better.
- Workaholic Diet: Eat only when
it's on the expense account.
- The advantage of exercising every day
is that you die healthier.
- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately
my stomach covers them.
- Calorie Chart: Changing your
mind... 25, Balancing the books... 25, Lying down on the job... 25,
Tooting your own horn... 30, Passing the Buck... 50, Hitting the nail on
the head... 50, Sidestepping responsibility...50, Grasping at straws...
75, Beating around the bush... 75, Bending over backwards... 75, Jumping
to conclusions... 75, Running up bills... 90, Swallowing pride...90,
Dragging your heels... 100, Jumping on the bandwagon...100, Jogging the
memory... 125, Stretching the truth...150, Climbing the walls... 150,
Eating crow... 225, Pushing your luck... 250, Wading through
paperwork... 300, Throwing your weight around... 300, Kicking bad
habits... 325, Running around in circles... 350, Making mountains out of
- I'm not fat, I'm just hipper than most.
- Only in America do people order a
double cheese burger, large fries and a diet coke.
- Lord, If you cannot make me skinnier,
please make my friends fatter.
- Principles have no real force except
when one is well fed. -- Mark Twain
- Don't dig your grave with your own
knife and fork. -- English Proverb
- If we are what we eat, I must be a
- It took years of perfected neglect to
get a body like this.
- Diet is a four letter word.
- Gobble 'til you wobble.
- Some eat to live. Others live to
- An adult is someone who stopped
growing, except in the middle.
- We all get heavier as we get older
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
- No one ever tells Santa to watch his
- WARNING! Woman on diet!
- No fat, no calories, no cholesterol and
- I have a million-dollar figure, but
it's all in loose change.
- How do we gain two pounds by eating a
half pound of fudge?
- Figures don't lie, especially mine.
- My heart "bees" in sweets.
- A good cook is like a sorceress who
- Diet Goal: To weigh what my
driver license says.
- Never ask a cowgirl how wide her spread
- I'm on a 30 day diet. So far I've
lost 10 days.
- I've been on my diet two weeks and so
far all I've lost is fourteen days.
- I diet. I dye it blonde.
(sub brunette, auburn, etc.)
- Lord, help! The devil wants me
- Too much pigging out makes a pig!
- Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow
- Never eat more than you can lift. --
- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy
- The hardest part of dieting isn't
watching what you eat. It's watching what your friends eat.
- My ultimate dream job would be taste
- Purrhaps we should diet. (with
- My low fat diet is really working.
The fat hangs lower everyday.
- All my teeth are sweet tooths.
- I'm on a seefood diet. I see
food. I eat food.
- I have more rolls than a baker.
- I'm built for comfort, not speed.
- There's only one thing standing between
me off my diet. . . food!
- I'm on two diets. One didn't
supply enough food.
- I'm a diet dropout.
- I ate my willpower.
- The dog ate my willpower.
- I am a great connoisseur of all good
food and I take my work very seriously.
- A glutton is one who digs his grave
with his teeth. -- French Proverb
- I am not a glutton. I am an
explorer of food.
- May all my chances be slim, not fat!
- My scale said "One person at a
- Elephants are elegant creatures, thank
- I keep trying to lose weight, but it
keeps finding me.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the
food chain to eat vegetables.
- My family eats from the four food
groups everyday... Fast, Frozen, Canned and Microwaveable
- Golfers Diet: Stay on the greens.
- Don't make your tummy for a waist
- More die in the United States of too
much food than of too little.
- The cardiologist's diet: If it
tastes good, spit it out.
- One should eat to live, not live to
eat. -- Cicero
- If you hang your swimsuit on the
refrigerator door, the goodies inside will be easier to ignore.
- I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic
and just keep forgetting to purge. -- Paula Poundstone
- The bathroom scale is a modern torture
- People are so worried about what they
eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be
worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
- If nature had intended our skeletons to
be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.
- Avoid any diet that discourages
- I never worry about diets. The
only carrots that interest me are those you get in a diamond. --
- Rich, fatty foods are like destiny:
they too, shape our ends.
- I'm on a seafood diet. I see food
and I eat it.
- Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Coincidence? I think not!
- Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign
something is eating us.
- No diet will remove all the fat from
your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you
might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. --
George Bernard Shaw
- Food is like sex: when you
abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.
- It is a hard matter, my fellow
citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. -- Plutarch
- I have gained and lost the same ten
pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.
- To lengthen your life, shorten your
- If you really want to be depressed,
weigh yourself in grams.
- You know it's time to diet when you
push away from the table and the table moves.
- If food is your best friend, it's also
your worst enemy.
- A diet usually reduces your willpower
instead of your waistline.
- The commonest form of malnutrition in
the western world is obesity.
- Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled over
how much weight you have gained.
- Clogged with yesterday's excess, the
body drags the mind down with it. -- Horace
- We rarely repent of having eaten too
little. -- Thomas Jefferson
- All people are made alike of bones and
flesh and dinner. Only the dinners are different and decide if
we'll be fat or thinner!
- Some light eaters begin to eat as soon
as it is light.
- Gluttony is not a secret vice.
- My doctor told me to stop having
intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. --
- The best way to lose weight is to check
it as airline baggage.
- If you wish to grow thinner, diminish
- Probably nothing in the world arouses
more false hopes than the first few hours of a diet.
- Obesity is immensely widespread.
- A good reducing exercise consists in
placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.
- Don't go out of your weigh to please
anyone but yourself.
- Overweight is often just desserts.
- The most popular books are cookbooks
and diet books. One tells us how to prepare delicious treats and
the other tells us how to avoid it!
- Eat right. Stay fit. Die
I don't have an
I eat and I get fat and I buy new
I was cut out to be thin,
but I got sewn up wrong.
If you gain five pounds,
its water. If you lose five pounds, it's weight.
Lord, if I must
get my just desserts,
please make them chocolate.
- Whether you're thick or thin is a
matter of taste.
- Those who get too big for their
britches are exposed in the end.
- What makes the Leaning Tower of Pisa
lean? It doesn't eat.
- It's not the minutes eating that put on
the pounds, but the seconds.
- Caution: Hungry dieter... may
bite if provoked.
- Two things one should never eat before
breakfast: Lunch and dinner
- Don't be large. Take charge!
Command your own barge!
- Have fork, will travel.
- Be fit, not fat!
- Obesity is a growing problem.
- Some people weight too long before
going on a diet!
Sign on a stadium in
China: Stadium holds 120,000 Chinese or 80,000 Americans.
- The Fast
Diet: Don't eat... FAST!
- Loose lips, broad
- As I wake
up from my sleep, I pray my diet I may keep, but if temptation makes me
slip, I pray the Lord my pants won't rip.
An apple pie without some cheese is like a
kiss without a squeeze.
glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because
you'll burn up a lot of calories running to the bathroom.
Break the pound barrier: Diet
It's not all me. I have an overactive
- Get your
rear in gear! Exercise!
- I'm no a low fat, high stress
diet... coffee and fingernails.
Dear Lord, So far today, I have not
been self indulgent, sat in front of the TV all day, or raided the
fridge. However, I am going to get out of bed soon, and then I'm
going to need your help! Amen
your knees and then your toes, and wish you'd skipped those Oreos!
- Move your TV far from your refrigerator
so you'll get lots of exercise.
Books whose authors are as interesting
as the book: Eating Disorders by Anna Rexia, Loving the Weight You
Are by Ella Funt, Italian Foods by Pepe Roni, Meat Eaters by Carnie
Vorus, Low Fat Pork Recipes by Lena Bacon, Continental Breakfasts by
Roland Butter, Indulge in Chocolate by Ken I. Havesum, Burning Calories
by X. R. Cise, Leave the Fat Behind by Phat E. Butz, and Lose those
Pounds by Ima Loser
- He who
little fudge can lead to a little pudge.
abandoned my diet for desserts. I guess that makes me a desserter!
only at classy restaurants so you don't gain weight in the wrong places.
your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.
me Lord, for I have thinned!
Cutting the fat is where it's at.
things come to those who watch their weight.
sweet thoughts, not thoughts of sweets.
My first kiss was
the sweetest... It was
Double your pleasure, double your fun. Eat two
boxes of chocolate instead of just one!
If swimming is good exercise and slimming, what
happened to whales?
Dieting is no picnic.
- If you
don't watch your figure, no one else will.
- I have a weight
problem. I can't wait to eat!
- The difference in
weighting 100 pounds and 200 pounds is the first forgoes dessert and the
other goes for dessert.
ICU812 (I see you
ate one too.)
- Gainful employment
is working in a chocolate factory!
- Born to be wide.
- I have the body of a
- Dieting is no piece
of (chocolate) cake!
- Don't be hungry for food. Be
hungry for life.
- Walking for exercise is a step in the
- Deja brew
is the feeling that you've had the coffee before.
To feel "fit as a fiddle," you
must tone down your middle.
- It isn't the travel that's broadening.
It's all that rich foreign food.
- I'm a big woman for a reason. It
takes a big body to contain all this fabulousness!
- I don't keep fit but I have one from
time to time.
- Exercise is one of discretion.
Too many people confine their
exercise to jumping to conclusions, changing their minds, running up
bills, stretching the truth, lying down on the job, passing the buck,
dragging their heels, sidestepping responsibility, making mountains out
of molehills and pushing their luck.
- The rich would have to eat money if the
poor did not provide food -- Russian proverb
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