-
Here lies Fallin A. Parte
Lost her teeth, sight & hearing
and soon she couldn't even walk
but then she really lost it all
when she found she couldn't talk!
-
Here lies Risa Yeast
Her last words were:
"Pardon me for not rising!"
-
Here lies Otto B. Alive
His last words:
"What happened?"
-
Here lies I. B. Knappin
Shhhh!
-
Here lies Willy Rott
Faithful husband of
Betty Will-Rott
-
Here lies Betty Will-Rott
Odds are she was
a loving wife to Willy Rott.
-
Here lies
Diane Rott
Loving daughter of
Willy Rott and Betty Will-Rott
-
Here lies Fester N. Rott
He kept all his problems inside
Where they ate at him til he died.
-
We think here lies M. T. Tomb
But you know what happens
when you start to assume!
-
In Memory of Barry D. Bones
He was here but. . .
his dog retrieved him!
-
Here lies I. B. Chump
He sowed, others reaped.
-
Here lies Dr. Izzy Gone
Pronounced men dead
when they died,
And the last time
went along for the ride.
-
Here lies Doobie Ghoulish
Lost his head acting foolish
-
Here lies I. B. Gone
He was taking off
but her husband was faster!
-
I. M. Back
AKA Count Dracula
-
Here lies Tom Thumb
He lived the big life
in a small way.
Til he got stepped on
one fateful day.
(put this on a very small stone)
-
Here lies Jess Gough
His wife yelled his name
and he obliged!
-
In memory of Wil B. Back
He went away with Frosty.
-
Here lies R. U. Next
When they called his name
he said, "No way!"
But they took him anyway!
-
Here lies Lea Ning
She lived a life slightly tilted,
right up to the day she wilted.
(Put on a tilted tombstone.)
-
Here lies Justin Thyme
He's usually late,
but made this date!
-
Here lies I. Emma Spook
She got her new fangled
sheets in a big tangle.
-
In Memory of Kerry M. Off
Fought valiantly,
but the ants won!
-
Here lies I. Emma Ghost
She tried to walk
through a lamppost
-
Final resting place of
Mark A. Place
X marks the spot.
-
Here lies Barry M. Deep
Wife said put him 10' deep,
cause he was hard to keep!
-
Here lies Berry D. Hatchet
He was a cratchety old soul.
We finally buried him in this hole!
-
Here lies Lefty B. Hynde
Ran off with a slut
leaving his wife behind.
But his wife caught up!
-
Here lies Reid N. Weep
Said his dealing was done in fun,
but those he'd dealt to had a gun!
-
Here lies Ruther B. Goffin
Golfing is what he did for fun
and finally got a hole in one!
-
Here lies Ruther B. Fishin
When the big one got away
He jumped in
and tried to take him anyway!
-
Here lies Ted N. Buried
Teased his Mom about her lisp,
and now old Ted is but a wisp!
-
Here lies Yul B. Next
His last words: "I can't go now,
just married Yetta Nother,"
And now they're here together!
-
Here lies Yetta Nother
Married
Yul B. Next
and now here she is.
-
Here lies Jaws
His bite was bigger than his bark,
but fate caught up in the dark!
(Put on a tombstone with a big bite taken out of a corner.)
-
U. R. Gone
Finally!
-
Here lies Sue D. Bum
She tried to sue
Slime from the maffia.
But he knew the judge
who said, "Off with ya."
-
Here lies Hammond Eggs
He had a green pig
and a green hen
And he turned green
before he went!
-
Here lies Bill M. Lader
All thought he
was well-heeled,
But collectors
chased as he keeled!
-
In memory of M. T. Box
He was slick as a fox!
-
Here lies John Borden
Loving father to Lizzy Bordon
May he rest in pieces.
-
Here lies Justin Pieces
He met up with Lizzy
and she went off in a tizzy!
-
Here lies I. M. Nekid
The bill his wife
forgot to pay. . .
They come and
took his suit away.
-
R.I.P. Van Winkle
Rest In Peace
-
Here lies Manny Bones (or sub Rattle M. Bones)
You can hear him roam
with creaks and groans.
-
Mummy B. Ware
His life began to unravel.
-
Will B. Hire and Ida Rose Hire
"They didn't just expire
They rose up higher."
-
Here lies Dawn Under
She always said:
"Any day above ground
Is a good day!"
-
Here lies Ben Dover
He came up
and hit his head
and then he
keeled right over!
-
Here lies I. B. Workin
Office upstairs.
-
Here lies B. A. Ghoul
They made fun of his drool.
He challenged them to a duel
and he lost!
-
Here lies Always Wright
He married a pretty little lass
who was full of pep and sass.
She proved him wrong
and he hit the gong!
-
Here lies Jack B. Quick.
He tripped over the candlestick!
-
Here lies Merry Macon.
"Getting there is half the fun!"
-
In Memory of Tread B. Gone.
He was recalled.
-
Here lies Fido.
He couldn't swallow that last bone
And now he's gone to a happier home.
-
Here lies Walter Dudley.
He found out too late,
Dobermans ain't cuddly.
-
Here lies Bill Boller
He got ran over
by a steam roller!
(Make the tombstone very tall & narrow
to match the flattened Bill Boller.)
-
Here lies Mary Lass.
She missed the brake
and hit the gas!
-
Here lies Henry Blake
He stepped on the gas
instead of the brake.
-
I was Fred.
Now I'm dead!
-
Here lies Mary Aster
She should have j-walked
just a little bit faster!
-
Here lies C. Dracula
(We hope!)
Died 1236
And 1342
And 1458
And 1527
And 1635
And 1703
And 1823
And 1995
-
O. Ithurts
Here I lie
And no wonder I'm dead,
for the wheel of a semi
ran over my head.
-
Here lies Lester More.
4 shots with a 44.
No Les, no more!
-
Here lies Count Dracula
Fangs for the Memories!
-
Here lies the father of 29.
There would have been more
but he ran out of time!
-
Here lie I bereft of breath,
because a cough carried me off.
Then a coffin they carried me off in.
-
Ima Yak
Here lies my wife.
I bid her goodbye.
She rests in peace
and now so do I.
-
Here lies Ron D. Vous
He met up with death.
-
Here lies Gil A. Teen
A tisket, a casket,
His head is in a basket
-
Here lies Smiley.
We buried him today.
He lived the life of Riley
when Riley was away.
But Riley returned, by golly!
-
Once I wasn't.
Then I was.
Now I ain't again!
-
Bill D. Lyar
Here lies Bill.
He always lied,
And he always will.
He lied once too often
And now he lies still!
-
Miles O'Beard
When your razor is dull
but you need a shave. . .
Think of the man
who lies in this grave!
-
Rest in peace Cousin Huet.
We all know you didn't do it.
-
Here lies good old Fred.
A great big rock fell on his head.
-
Dearly departed Brother Dave
He chased a bear into a cave.
-
Here lies dear old Brother Thor.
He couldn't take it anymore.
-
Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by the sword, and died by hemp.
-
Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp
Who lived by wool and died by hemp.
-
Here lies I. B. Crisp.
Fixed the toaster with a knife
and got the shock of his life!
-
Shirley B. Gone
I TOLD you I was sick!
-
Here lies the body
of old Margaret Bent.
She kicked up her heels
and away she went.
-
She always said
her feet were killing her,
but nobody believed her.
-
Barry A. Live
Here he lies
but he never died!!
-
Here he lies
cold and hard,
the last darn cat
that pooped in my yard.
-
Tomb it may concern
Here I lie.
-
R.I.P
Alone at last!
-
When I am dead and in my grave,
and all my bones are rotten.
While reading this you'll think of me
when I am long forgotten!
-
Phil Thee-Rich
Here lies a miser who lived for himself,
who cared for nothing but gathering wealth.
Now where he is and how he fares,
nobody knows and nobody cares.
-
"That's All Folks"
Mel Blanc
1908 - 1989
-
Speedy Demon
He failed his breathalyzer test
and now he lies with the rest.
-
Anthony Drake
Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake
Who died for peace and quietness sake.
His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin,
So he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.
-
Here lies my wife in earthy mold,
Who when she lived did naught but scold.
Good friends go softly in your walking,
Lest she should wake and rise up talking!
-
Bea Quick
May ye be in heaven an hour
before the devil knows you're dead.
-
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
went out of tune.
-
Here lies C. Anna Slip
Here lies the body of dear Anna,
done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
but the peel that made her go.
-
Here lies Tannis Hyde
His last words were
"Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful
women, and when I die I hope
they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a lady's riding
saddle, so I can rest in peace
between the two things I love most."
-
Professor I. N. Struct
School is out.
Teacher has gone home.
-
Here lies Owen Moore
Gone away
owin' more
than he could pay.
-
In Memory of Ezekiel Pease
He is not here
but only his pod.
Shelled out did Pease
and went to his God.
-
Here lies A. Brighton Penny
If you're short on cash
and don't have any,
dig six feet deep
and you'll find a Penny.
-
Wil B. Late
Here beneath rest the ashes
of a man who was in habit
of always postponing
everything until the day after.
But at last he improved did he,
and really died Jan. 31, 1873.
-
Here lies Mia Doolittle
Last words:
So much to do, so little done.
-
Ima Tunn
Open, open wide ye golden gates
that lead to the heavenly shore.
Father suffered in passing through
And mother weighs much more.
-
Here lies Sue
Age 102
The good die young!
-
Anonymous
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
of yours.
-
In Memory of Ole Piney Wood
Here lies one Wood
enclosed in wood,
one Wood within another.
The outer wood is very good.
We cannot praise the other
-
Here lies Ann Mann.
She lived an old maid
and died an old Mann.
-
In Memory of Mr. Peter Daniels
Beneath this stone and lump of clay
lies Uncle Peter Daniels,
who too early in the month of May
took off his winter flannels.
-
Here lies Foote N. Mouf
Last Words:
Either that wallpaper
goes, or I do.
-
I. Gotya
You can be a king or a street sweeper,
but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.
-
James Wyatt
At rest beneath this slab of stone
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.
He died one morning just at ten,
And saved a dinner by it.
-
In memory of Bea Goode
All you that do behold my stone,
Consider how soon I was gone.
Death does not always warning give.
Therefore be cautious, how you live.
Repent in time, no time delay.
In my youth I was called away.
-
"If you would not be
forgotten,
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy of reading,
Or do things worthy of writing."
--Benjamin Franklin, May 1738
-
Here lies Skare D. Kat
Snuck up on the witch
& booed her cat
The witch caught up
And he went splat!
-
Here lies I. B. Goblin
Adults feared him.
Kids jeered him.
Adopted, he never fit in.
Now he's happy with his kin.
-
Here lies Ima Gobblin
Always had a big hunger and thirst
Finally drank and ate 'til she burst.
-
Here lies the mouse
that ate my cheese. . .
Feet straight up,
pretty as you please!
-
Here lies I. B. Smokin.
He made an ash of himself.
-
Miss N. Cranium
She fell out of bed
and off rolled her head!
-
O. M. Jones
Here lies the bones
of Old Man Jones.
-
Jack O. Lantern
On a cold windy night,
Poof, out went his light!
-
Here lies Rig O. Mortis
With his wife had a tiff
And now he is a poor old stiff!
-
Here lies Stone Cold
Lost his hold
And got knocked out cold!
-
I. M. Gonn
Vacancy
-
C. Yalater
R.S.V.P.
-
Here lies Ima Gonner
Her husband caught her
with her other!
-
Here lies Dedd N. Gonn
Gone but not forgotten!
-
Hal O. Ween
The epitome of fright.
Born October 31st, year unknown
Died October 31st, year unknown
-
Here lies I. M. Agoner
Bet all his money on
a horse that had been fast
But then that horse
fell and came in last!
-
Here lies poor ole Flynn
Liquor and women did him in!
-
Here lies Ben Better
"Things may be coming up roses
But I could be better I supposes."
-
N. A. Coffin
Had a coughin' fit,
Just couldn't quit!
-
I. M. Gone
Do ya miss me?
-
Here lies Frank N. Stein
In a box of mismatched pine.
-
Here lies Jimmy Hoffa
Still hiding from the maffia
(Put it a little hidden by itself.)
-
Here lies Count Dracula
Bat's all folks!
-
Here lies I. M. Broke
He contentedly
died penniless. . .
with great timing,
no more, no less!
-
Here lies Jim Migg,
who cordially invites
you to dig!
-
Here lies Mary Berms
She used to worry about germs.
But now the germs (and her)
are being eaten by worms!
-
I. M. Vacant
Add your name here!
-
Here lies the Pillsbury Dough
Boy,
May he rise again!
-
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Quite well I bet
Since it's well fed
By you below!
-
Here lies Mary Lagged
She should have zigged
When she zagged!
-
Here lies I. M. Slick
It does our hearts much good
to see you in a box of wood!
-
Here lies Myra Manes
But her mind is. . .
off wondering again.
-
Bea Fraid
She always found the
dark to be a fright.
Wouldn't go anywhere
without her nightlight.
(Get clever and hook a nightlight
up on a tombstone!)
-
Here lies Drinke N. Driver
He took time from work,
by bourbon required.
Then he took to the road
and now he's semi-retired.
-
Here lies I. M. Adedman
She caught him in bed
and now he's dead.
His wife used a gun
and blew away his fun!
-
Here lies the popular,
Kevin O'Tool,
who thought it was cool
to smoke in school.
-
Here lies a Hell's Angel
Still a wandering and revvin'
Cause he's too cool for Hell
but still too hot for heaven.
-
Here lies Al E. Kat
Caught a fishbone in his throat
And now he sings an angel's note.
-
Here lies Vlad the Impaler
He used to swallow swords for fun
Til he bit off more than he could chew,
And that time became the last one!
-
Wuzza Cheeter
In loving memory
from your grieving widow
You slept with them all
Now lets see where you go!
-
Here lies three blind mice.
They chased after the farmer's wife
And the farmer didn't think it was nice!
-
Farewell my young companions
all.
From death's arrest no age is free.
Remember this, a warning call.
Prepare to follow after me.
-
While living men my tomb do
view,
Remember well, there's room for you.
-
Stop by my friends as you pass
by,
As you are now so once was I.
As I am now you some day will be.
Prepare for death and follow me.
-
A time ago I stood there with you,
And viewed the dead as you do me.
Before you know it, you'll be here too
While others stand and gaze at thee.
-
Pearl
E. Gates
When they opened those gates
Pearl canceled all her dates!
-
Here
lies Les More.
No less, no more.
